It's Okay To Hope Against Hope



I still don't know what happened. He could have just ghosted me because he wasn't that interested or wasn't ready to meet or one of a few dozen reasons that have nothing to do with me. My gut immediately told me this guy was a scammer when he said he was only a few blocks away but the GPS said 2 miles away. That, the lack of contractions (I am vs I'm), the suspect story of being hacked and the way he reiterated that Kai was a SA wine bar all point to him being fake. I figured why not just expedite the process and ask him to meet. If he was real, then I'd get to have a glass of wine with somebody new. If he was fake well, at least I'd figure that out very quickly.


As disappointing and frustrating as this was, I'm very glad that I took the risk and suggested we meet. It's OK to hope against hope or believe in possibilities. Being scammed is not a statement of your value or intelligence or worth. It is, however, part of the new normal re: online dating.


Try not to internalize these situations. Instead, commend yourself for not giving in to fear, frustration or paranoia. You took a risk and that's to be commended. Rather than engage in prolonged exchanges or "tests", save your time and energy and just put it out there. What burns people out is when they invest a great deal of effort on someone with no pay off. Conserve your energy, people! It's valuable and so are you.


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