How Long Are Men Expected To Pay For Dates?



When dating, how many dates should the man offer to pay for all the dates. When is it okay to go Dutch?


I want to say that things should be split 50/50 from the first date on wards. That's how things should be. Unfortunately, many women in my age bracket (40+) are struggling with this idea. I believe many younger women have become more accustomed to splitting everything right out of the gate.


That said, the reality is that it's impossible to tell for sure which of those women are sitting across from you on that date. It's an unfortunate truth that many women will judge a man negatively if he does not pay for everything for the first few dates. At the very least, if he doesn't pay for the first date.


My advice is to plan on paying for that first date. I hate to say that, but better to err on the side of caution.


If she makes no attempt to contribute to the bill, she's letting you know she expects you to foot the bill for the foreseeable future until you've proven yourself in her eyes. Yikes.


If she goes for the fake reach but acts gracious and says thank you when you tell her you're paying, she's probably a keeper.


If you tell her it your treat and she insists on contributing something - which is what she should be doing - let her. No adult should offer to pay for something then get offended when that offer is accepted. Don't take that as a sign of disinterest unless you sensed throughout the date there was a lack of chemistry. If you felt there was a spark, she's likely offering to help pay because she's looking for an equal partnership and acknowledges that she's not entitled to the rewards aka money earned from someone else's hard work.


The longer you wait to ask her to kick-in, the harder and more uncomfortable it will be in the long run. That's why it's a good idea to accept her offer to contribute on the first date by suggesting she leave the tip. You're still treating her, but at the same time you're letting her know that you don't expect to pay for everything go forward. If she takes offense to that, you probably don't want to date her anyway.


Good luck!





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